Tip 1: Understand the values that are operating in any situation.
From our past experience we develop a set of ‘rules’ or values by which we live our lives.
Values are derived from:
- social and cultural influences
- family values, traditions and history
- history – recent or distant
- ideas about life generated from your experiences good or bad</>
- writers, philosophers books we have read
- role models or people you admire
Whether we are aware of them or not we follow such rules or values.
These ‘rules’ or values tell us how the world works, how people should act or how things are supposed to be.
Our rules or values are the driving force behind our actions and feelings.
We also need to understand the rules or values by which others live their lives. We decide what other people should or shouldn’t do according to our own values. Our values drive our expectations of others.
When we have differences or get into conflict with others our rules or values collide and so we need to make our rules or values explicit.
Exercise in Values
Doing this simple exercise will help you to understand why a person behaves as they do.
Step 1: Understand your own values in the situation
To know your values ask yourself in each situation . . .
I believe the world works best when . . .or
I believe life works best when . . .or
I think things work best when . . .
Step 2: Understand someone else’s values
To know someone else’s values ask yourself in each situation . . .
They believe the world works best when . . .or
They believe life works best when . . .or
They think things work best when . . .